Life Imitating Art
by cheri1
Summary: 10Rose Rose watches a movie and sees the parallels between the movie and her own relationship with the Doctor. One Shot.


Rose slowly walked into her bedroom aboard the TARDIS and sank down exhausted onto her bed. It had been one, long day defeating Mister Finch and his Krillitaine buddies. Not to mention meeting Sarah Jane and K9. She sighed. She wished that Sarah Jane had decided to come with them. Even though she had been jealous of her at first, she did turn out to be a good friend and even better, she was someone who had been with the doctor before. She was someone she could confide in. She knew what it was like to be a human traveling with the Doctor. To see things that not many people on earth would believe existed. To know…

"I know how intense a relationship with the Doctor can be."

Rose sighed as Sarah Jane's words floated through her mind. The previous night came back to her. Her conversation with the Doctor in the parking lot and what he had said to her.

"You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can't spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on. Alone. That's the curse of the Time Lords."

Rose bit her lip as she remembered the look of despair on the Doctor's face as he said those words to her. Tears came to her eyes as she remembered what else the Doctor had said.

"I don't age. I regenerate. But humans decay. You wither and you die. Imagine watching that happen to someone who you—"

He had stopped himself there. But Rose knew. She knew what he was going to say and knowing that he had been unwilling to say it hurt her even more. After all, look at all they had been through. All the times they had hugged after being reunited. All the times they held hands to comfort each other and give each other support. All the looks that had passed between them and jokes they had shared. After all that, he couldn't bring himself to admit his love for her? Rose did understand his reasoning. She knew he was right about him outliving her and how painful it would be to see her grow old and die but damn it, she didn't care. Sarah Jane was right about the intensity. Never in her life had she felt a deeper love for anyone. Not even Mickey. She had been shocked at how angry she had felt when he had decided to come with them. She never would have felt that way before the Doctor came along. She used to love Mickey's company, but more and more it seemed as though he was becoming an annoyance to her. Whenever he was around, he was always on her about the Doctor and her being so close to him. She was getting sick of it. And now that he was on board the TARDIS with them, she felt like now she would have to constantly watch herself around the Doctor so he wouldn't fly off into a jealous rage.

Rose shook her head. She had to get these thoughts out of her head. She had to find something to distract her before she made herself crazy. Getting up from her bed, she walked over to the TV and DVD/VCR player the Doctor had provided for her. Glancing through her collection of DVD's, she finally decided on Spider-Man 2. She put it in the player, went back to her bed, and settled in as she tried to relax and forget about the Doctor for the next couple of hours.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mickey looked around the TARDIS control room as the Doctor finished putting coordinates into the computer and sat down.

"This is brilliant." He said, grinning. "I'm finally going to have adventures just like you and Rose. No more being the tin dog. I'm gonna be Mickey Smith, Time Traveler."

Mickey glanced over at the Doctor. He frowned as he noticed him staring absentmindedly at the front door.

"What's up with you?" he asked him.

"I'm a little upset right now, Mickey," The Doctor replied angrily as he continued to stare at the door.

"Why, cause we left that Sarah Jane behind?"

The Doctor sighed and glared at him.

"Yes, Mickey, cause we left THAT Sarah Jane behind!"

Mickey held up his hands.

"Whoa, don't go off on me. She's the one who decided to stay behind."

"Yes, Mickey, and that's why I'm upset; and you standing there and asking me dumb questions isn't helping my mood! Now could you possibly find something to do and let me be by myself for awhile?"

Mickey shrugged.

"Fine with me, I'd rather go exploring anyway."

"Yes, you do that."

Mickey rolled his eyes, shoved his hands in his pockets, and stomped off as the Doctor turned his eyes back towards the front door.

"Oh God, Sarah Jane," he sighed. "Why did you have to turn up again? Saying goodbye to you again was even worse than saying goodbye to you the first time."

He lowered his head into his hands.

"God," he moaned. "Why do I keep allowing people to travel with me? Why do I torture myself like this? Rose was right. Eventually I'll have to dump her somewhere too. I just can't bear the thought of her growing sick and infirm in front of my eyes. That beautiful face all lined and wrinkly; her beautiful blonde hair turning grey, seeing her slowing down with age; all the while knowing that one day she'll take her last breath and I'll have to stare into her empty eyes and hold her lifeless body. No, I just can't risk it. I know it's selfish of me to do that. I know it'll be cold and cruel to just ditch Rose the way I ditched Sarah Jane and all the others, but in the end it'll be good for her just like it was good for Sarah Jane. I let her go and look at her. She's a journalist. She managed to make it without me and Rose will too."

He let out a derisive snort as he raised his head.

"Oh who are you kidding, Doctor?" He said to himself. "Rose is irreplaceable. She's nothing like the others and you know it. Not even Sarah Jane got as close to you as she has. She's one in a million."

He sighed.

"And it's because I love her so much that I have to let her go like all the others. She deserves someone who won't be putting her in danger every minute. She deserves someone who can provide for her and give her a nice house, car, kids, and a future that doesn't involve running from nightmarish monsters and wondering whether her next breath will be her last. She doesn't deserve to be pulled into my private Hell like this. God, I'm sorry I even invited her in here in the first place. It would be so much easier if I did travel alone. It's what I deserve after destroying my people. I deserve to float through time and space alone and miserable for the rest of my life for that."

He looked up as the TARDIS rumbled angrily.

"And I don't need your two pence, thanks." He said to her. "I know how fond you are of her. I can hear you purr whenever she's around me and feel you nudging the back of my mind. So you don't need to remind me about your feelings. Just concentrate on flying this ship, and let me have my little pity party in peace, okay?"

The TARDIS gave out one more irritated rumble before falling silent once more. The Doctor shook his head. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he decided to take a walk around the TARDIS to clear his head.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rose took a sip from her Coke can as she watched the movie. It was one of her favorites. The only problem was that when she watched the struggle Peter had with being Spider-Man and trying to decide whether or not to let Mary Jane into his life or to keep her at a distance and keep her safe; her thoughts kept coming back to the Doctor and what he had said to her. She had debated several times whether to get up and change the movie, but something was compelling her to watch. She wondered if subconsciously she had chosen the movie because Peter and Mary Jane's relationship seemed to mirror a lot of what she was going through with the Doctor. In the end, she figured it wasn't worth the effort to get up when she was comfortable so she left it alone. She took another sip as she watched Spider-Man rescue Mary Jane from the collapsing warehouse and swing her away into the night. She allowed herself a grin as she imagined the Doctor wearing Spider-Man's tights. She wondered if she could convince him to wear the costume for Halloween for a giggle.

Her smile faded as she listened to the next scene.

"I think I always knew...all this time...who you really were."

"Then you know why we can't be together. Spider-Man will always have enemies. I can't let you take that risk. I will...always be Spider-Man."

"You and I can never be."

Tears ran down Rose's cheeks. Feeling foolish, she rubbed them away as she watched Peter lower his true love down to a man she didn't love anymore.

"Oh bollocks!" she muttered, as she wiped her eyes. "Rose, you git, quit crying. It's just a stupid movie, for Christ's sake!"

Reaching into the nightstand drawer, she found her box of Kleenex. Pulling out a few tissues, she wiped her tears away and blew her nose as she kept her eyes on the movie.

As she watched Mary Jane in her wedding dress staring at her own reflection with complete despair in her eyes, she felt the tears start up again and she wiped them away as fast as they fell, thanking God that she was alone in the room.

As she watched Mary Jane running away from the church and towards Peter, a smile lit up her face. Her smile grew even wider as she listened to the next scene.

"Had to do what I had to do."

"Mary Jane."

"Peter…I can't survive without you."

"You shouldn't be here."

"I know you think we can't be together. But can't you respect me enough to let me make my own decision? I know there'll be risks. But I want to face them with you. It's wrong that we should only be half-alive...half of ourselves. I love you. So here I am, standing in your doorway. I've always been standing in your doorway."

"Isn't it about time somebody saved your life?"

"Oh God, Doctor. How I wish I could say those words to you without you getting freaked out. She just said exactly what I'm feeling in my heart." She murmured to herself.

As the movie ended, she breathed a sigh of relief as she got up to turn the player off.

"Love that movie so much," she murmured to herself as she hit the power button.

"I do too."

Rose gasped and spun around to see the Doctor standing in her bedroom doorway staring at her.

"The Spider-Man movies are great," he said.

He smiled at her.

"Not as good as The Muppet Movie though," he said winking.

"How…how long have you been standing there?" Rose asked nervously.

"I've been here awhile. I decided to take a walk around the TARDIS and I passed by your room and noticed Spider-Man 2 was playing so I decided to watch too. I was going to come further into the room, but you were so engrossed in the movie I didn't want to disturb you."

He came into the room and cupped Rose's face. Rose gulped as the Doctor's fingers rubbed away the tearstains from her cheeks.

"Rose, I heard what you said," he said softly.

Rose sniffed. She tried to lower her gaze, but the Doctor forced her to look at him.

"Rose…I know how you feel about me. I know you love me," he said softly. "You don't even have to say it. I can tell just by the way you look at me."

Rose gulped and nodded.

"What about you, Doctor? Do you love me back?"

It was the Doctor's turn to try to avert his gaze. He grunted when Rose pulled her face back to his roughly.

"I asked you a question, Doctor," she said between sobs. "I want to know if you love me."

The Doctor gulped.

"You know the answer," he said softly.

"I want to hear it. I want to hear you say it, Doctor!"

"Why?" he asked, angrily. "Why do you need to hear it?"

"Because I want to hear it from your lips!" she yelled. "I need to hear it, Doctor! I need confirmation! I know I mean a lot to you; even more than Sarah Jane and all the others!"

"Rose!"

"I do. You never mentioned Sarah Jane before I met her. You never mentioned anyone else. I was shocked to find out there had been more, Doctor. I thought I was the only one. I thought the only reason you wanted me along was because you wanted me to be with you."

"I do want you to be with me!"

"And you plan to ditch me whenever I get too old for you, is that it?"

She glared at the Doctor as he averted his gaze from her.

"Sarah Jane was right. Your assistants ARE getting younger," Rose spat out. "You want them young so you can delay throwing out the door for as long as you can!"

Rose gasped as the Doctor seized her shoulders and jerked her roughly.

"I am not Peter Parker, damn it! And you are not Mary Jane! This is not some bleeding movie! This is real life! And in real life, the boy and girl do not always end up together at the end! I can't be with you, okay? No matter how much you want me and how much I want you, the fact is, I am a 901 year old alien who travels around in a little blue box and you are a 20 year old shop girl from London! I'm glad that you decided to come with me and I'm grateful for every moment that we spend together but eventually you will have to go back to normal life and to your mother and Mickey and settle down because traveling in the TARDIS will not suit you when you are 80 years old!"

"No, Doctor, it won't suit you, is what you mean!" Rose screamed back. "And I never said you were Peter Parker and I was Mary Jane. But what they went through in that movie is exactly what we're going through now! I am trying to be a part of your life and you keep pushing me away because you're terrified of losing me! But just like Mary Jane said, I am old enough to make my own decisions and believe me, I'm well aware of the risks being with you brings, but just the same I love you. I love you more than anyone in my whole life and I know you feel the same way. And you know what I think? I think the TARDIS brought you to London that day because fate wanted us to be together. I think the exact reason I'm here is because you were lonely and you needed someone. God or the TARDIS or whoever it was that brought us together knew exactly what they were doing. We are so right for each other, Doctor. We're even to the point where we're finishing each other's sentences and know exactly what the other is thinking. I don't care that you're an alien. I don't care that you fly around in a blue box. I don't care that you don't have a regular house to go home to. Sod the stupid house. I'd rather go 5 billion years in the future and see the earth explode in a ball of flame than live at home in a tiny, little house with a white picket fence and have you mow the lawn while I vacuum the floor and raise a pack of bratty kids. I love the adventures we have, Doctor. I have never in my whole life felt more alive than I have the past couple of years. I don't care if I do grow old while you remain young or regenerate or whatever. I accept that as the price to pay for being with the man I love. Now what about you, Doctor? Aren't you tired of being alone? Wouldn't you rather have me for as long as I live, and be happy in those few short years and the intimacy and love it would bring, than to push me away and dump me somewhere and then spend the rest of this life and the other lives to come being miserable and bitter and regretful?"

Rose stroked the Doctor's cheek as tears fell down his face.

"Rose. I do want you. I do. I just don't know if I can bear it if you got hurt or killed. I've almost lost you several times now and each time it's been like a dagger in my hearts. I dread the day I make a mistake or I don't get to you in time and you…"

He closed his eyes and bit his lip as the tears flowed down his cheeks.

"I…"

He shuddered.

"I love you, Rose Tyler." He whispered. "Oh God, I love you so much! I don't want anything to happen to you! I don't want to lose you!"

He threw his arms around her and drew her close.

"When Mister Finch was offering me the power to rule over time and space and to save everyone I love and make them immortal, I listened to him because I was thinking of you. I thought about how I could make you immortal and keep you young and we would be together forever. I would never have to see the day when I would have to mourn your loss. I almost gave god-like power to the Krillataines just so I could be selfish and keep you alive. If Sarah Jane hadn't snapped me back to my senses, I would have done it too."

He smiled and kissed the top of her head.

"So if the fact that I almost willingly gave control of the universe over to a bunch of bat people just so I could keep you with me for all time doesn't convince you of my love, I expect nothing will, eh?"

Rose chuckled.

"Yeah, you had to have been hopelessly in love to listen to that lot. I don't think I'd want to live in a universe ruled by their butt ugly selves."

The Doctor laughed.

"Yup, me neither."

"So does this mean you're willing to give the relationship a try?"

The Doctor paused and thought. A smile spread across his face.

"Yeah, I think I do," he said, stroking her hair. "I think you're worth the risk of my hearts being broken somewhere down the line."

He lifted her face.

"I'll just be sure to savor every moment until then," he said softly.

Rose smiled and their lips met in a long, passionate kiss.

"Oh no…no,no,no…"

The Doctor and Rose jerked apart and looked over at Mickey standing in the doorway.

"Mickey, old chap? Enjoy your little tour of the TARDIS?" the Doctor asked, smiling at him.

"I did…until I walked in on this," he said angrily, gesturing to them. "I shoulda known this would happen!"

"What? Oh you mean the kiss?" the Doctor said innocently, as he glanced at Rose. "That wasn't a romantic kiss."

"Really? Looked like it to me."

"Oh no, honestly, I was…um…well, Rose here absorbed the energy of the TARDIS again and I had to draw it out of her. She's…always doing that. Frankly it's getting a bit annoying. But you know young people these days. You can't keep them out of things."

The Doctor looked at Rose who was trying to stifle her laughter and back at Mickey who was glaring at him.

"Well…now that I've…absorbed the energy of the TARDIS. I better go and put it back before I regenerate again. Don't want that happening. So if you'll excuse me, Mickey. I'll be in the control room."

He went to the door and turned to Rose.

"And you, young lady," he said sternly, as he wagged his finger at her. "If I catch you prying open the control panel and sucking out all the energy again, I will turn this TARDIS around and go straight home to your mother. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Doctor," Rose said, giving him a little pout.

"Good. I'm glad that's settled."

He looked at Mickey.

"Nice to have you aboard, Smith," he said clapping a hand on his shoulder. "You're first duty is to keep this little kleptomaniac away from the control panel. I'm tired of having to kiss her over and over to get the energy out. It's wearing out my beautiful lips."

He grinned at him and quickly hurried out the door as Rose burst out laughing. Rose followed him pausing long enough to give Mickey a little peck on the check before she moved past.

"Dear God, What I've gotten myself into?" Mickey muttered to himself. "Suddenly being the tin dog sounds pretty good to me."

THE END


End file.
